A Lot can happened over a Coffee-A Twist

 
Scene 1:
Location:  Lifestyles mall, Cafe coffee Day
Timeline : Last year of college (2009)
Characters: Two cool college kids, Two weird office goers


Why are we alone?
We are not alone. We cant be alone if we are together.
Okay ass, I meant why dont we have girlfriends?
Oh, thats because the good ones chose the dorks
Yeah.. neckless, fat, geeky dorks
Hey! We can be neckless fat and geeky, if it gets us girls that is..
Well, we are already geeky..
I am not..
Yes you are..
Yeah I am.. I know..
So all we have to become is neckless and fat..
I dont think it is fair..
Even I dont think it is fair.. but what?
They show girls swooning over Hrithik Roshan on TV, but then they go and settle for dorks like these in real life. I mean, what happened to survival of the handsomest..
Yeah I know.. My mom says I look like Hrithik.
Dont take your mom too seriously..
Oh comeon.. I do!
No, you dont.. actually you do, only hes taller and more.. whats the word.. yeah.. awesome!
You sound like a girl right now..
I know, but you can definitely pass off as Uday Chopra..
Damn you..
Pointing to two office goers sitting at a table across the cafe.
Now look at those two guys there.. We look better than they do, dont we?
We sure do.. I mean we can beat them in the looks dept any day.
Yeah, look at them. Peter England office shirts, Arrow flat trousers and office handbag. Looks more like a purse that handbag of theirs if you ask me..
They look as if they came with a tag - since 1929
Hehe.. good one.. And look at us, cool wrist band, Levi's jeans, Reebok shirts and i-pump shoes..
Hey when did you buy them shoes?
Monday.
And you didnt tell me?
Tell you? what are we? girls?
Oh yeah.. sorry. Are those guys waiting for someone?
Yeah.. I bet they have girlfriends too.
These guys? since 1929 guys? No ways!
I bet 100..
deal..
Just then 2 pretty girls entered the cafe and walked up to them. They could hear them.
"Shall we leave boys?", said the first one.
"We ll be late for the movie", said the other one.
The guys paid the bill and started moving out, with their respective girls.
See? See? Hail me as your king! Pay up you dumbass.
Damn you ass****
He removed Rs. 100 from his wallet and thrusted it onto his friend's palm.

He said the word "Damn" loud enough for one of the guys, who was now opening the door for his girl, to hear him. He looked back at the college kids and smiled. He pulled her close to him and whispered something in her ear. She looked back at the college kids and giggled. Then the four of them left.



Scene 2:
Location:  Lifestyles mall, Cafe coffee Day
Timeline : First year of the job (2010)
Characters: Two weird college kids, Two cool office goers

Hows work?
Cool. Hows yours?
Cool.
Hows everyone at home?
What? You never used to ask that!
Really? Hmm.
Got a promotion btw.
Hmm.. that means you pay for today's movie.
Damn you.
I paid the first installment of the car, did I tell you?
Hmm.. Your dad, didnt ask you to pay, did he?
No, but I thought I could pay half for him. That way it would be easier for him.
Hmm.. we are planning to buy a house too..
In mulund?
No re, its out of reach now. Maybe in Thane. Now that I make money too, my parents can afford it..
Man! We are paying installements, buying flats.. We are growing up!!!

Pointing to two college kids sitting at a table across the cafe.
Remember when we were like them?
Whats with those shoes and whats with the hairstyle these kids have nowadays?
Yeah.. and look at their jeans. One more of his size can fit into those!! And they think they look "cool"!
Hehehe.. weirdos..
Its 6:45.. Why do they always have to be this late..
Its evolutionary.. Its in the bible..
What the? The bible doesnt allow women to come late..
Arre it does! Even the first woman "Eve" came only after Adam got really bored.
Hehehe.. Your sense of humour has gone down the drain.
shut up dumbass..

Just then two pretty girls entered the cafe.
"Hello boys", one said.
"Are we late?", the other asked.
No babe.
"Lets leave, dont wanna miss the starting"


The guys paid the bill and started walking out when one of them overheard one of the college kid swearing at the other.
He looked back at the kids, the kid wearing a green nike shirt thrusted a 100 rupee note in the hands of the other kid. He smiled at them.

He held her hand and pulled her close to him. He whispered in her ear -
"You see those two guys sitting there. I think, they had a bet whether we had girlfriends or not. The guy in the green shirt lost."
"How can you be sure about the bet thing", she asked.
"Coz I have been there "
She looked at him amused. She looked back at the college kids and giggled. The four of them left.



Note:-Article is not mine but i had posted it here as it seems like story of mine. All credit of article is for its original author.

Employee Referance Manual

Sick Days
We will no longer accept a doctor’s statement as proof of sickness. If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work.

Surgery
Operations are now banned. As long as you are an employee here, you need all your organs. You should not consider removing anything. We hired you intact. To have something removed constitutes a breach of employment.

Bereavement Leave
This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing you can do for dead friends, relatives or coworkers. Every effort should be made to have non-employees attend to the arrangements. In rare cases, where employee involvement is necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one hour early, provided your share of the work is enough to keep the job going in your absence.

Your Own Death
This will be accepted as an excuse. However, we require at least two weeks notice, as it is your duty to train your replacement.

Rest Room Use
Entirely too much time is being spent in the rest room. In the future, we will follow the practice of going in alphabetical order. For instance, those whose names begin with ‘A’ will go from 8:00 to 8:10; employees whose names begin with ‘B’ will go from 8:10 to 8:20 and so on. If you’re unable to go at your time, it will be necessary to wait until the next day when your time comes again. In extreme emergencies employees may swap their time with a coworker. Both employees’ supervisors in writing must approve this exchange.

Thank you for your loyalty to our company. We are here to provide a positive employment experience. All questions, comments, concerns, complaints, frustrations, irritations, insinuations, allegations, accusations, contemplation’s, consternation’s, or input should be directed elsewhere.

Smart Answers..................to make u snatch ur hairs

Man: Haven’t I seen you someplace before ?
Woman: Yeah, that’s why I don’t go there anymore.

Man: I’d like to call you. What’s your number ?
Woman: It’s in the phone book.
Man: But I don’t know your name.
Woman: That’s in the phone book too.

Man: Is this seat empty ?
Woman: Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down.

Man: So, wanna go back to my place ?
Woman: Well, I don’t know. Will two people fit under a rock ?

Man: Your place or mine ?
Woman: Both. You go to yours and I’ll go to mine.

Man: What sign were you born under ?
Woman: No Parking.

Man: I know how to please a woman.
Woman: Then please leave me alone.

Man: I want to give myself to you.
Woman: Sorry, I don’t accept cheap gifts.

Man: I can tell that you want me.
Woman: Ohhhh. You’re so right. I want you… to leave.

Man: I’d go through anything for you.
Woman: Good! Let’s start with your bank account.

Man: I would go to the end of the world for you.
Woman: Yes, but would you stay there ?

Real Meanings Of Words In Our Field

* Great Presentation Skills – Able to bullshit
* Good Communication Skills – Spends lots of time on phone
* Exceptionally Well Qualified – Made no major blunders yet
* Work Is First Priority – Too ugly to get a date
* Active Socially – Drinks a lot
* Family Is Active Socially – Spouse drinks, too
* Independent Worker – Nobody knows what he/she does
* Quick Thinking - Offers plausible excuses
* Careful Thinker – Won’t make a decision
* Uses Logic On Difficult Jobs – Gets someone else to do it
* Expresses Themselves Well – Speaks English
* Has Leadership Qualities – Is tall or has a loud voice
* Exceptionally Good Judgment – Lucky
* Keen Sense Of Humor – Knows a lot of dirty jokes
* Loyal – Can’t get a job anywhere else

Very Good Article on Late sitting

It's half past 8 in the office but the lights are still on....
PCs still running, coffee machines still buzzing...
And who's at work? Most of them ??? Take a closer look...

All or most specimens are ??
Something male species of the human race...

Look closer... again all or most of them are bachelors...

And why are they sitting late? Working hard? No way!!!
Any guesses???
Let's ask one of them...
Here's what he says... 'What's there 2 do after going home...Here we get to surf, AC, phone, food, coffee that is why I am working late...Importantly no bossssssss!!!!!!!!!!!'

This is the scene in most research centers and software companies and other off-shore offices.

Bachelors 'Passing-Time' during late hours in the office just bcoz they say they've nothing else to do...
Now what r the consequences...

'Working' (for the record only) late hours soon becomes part of the institute or company culture.

With bosses more than eager to provide support to those 'working' late in the form of taxi vouchers, food vouchers and of course good feedback, (oh, he's a hard worker... goes home only to change..!!).
They aren't helping things too...

To hell with bosses who don't understand the difference between 'sitting' late and 'working' late!!!

Very soon, the boss start expecting all employees to put in extra working hours.

So, My dear Bachelors let me tell you, life changes when u get married and start having a family... office is no longer a priority, family is... and
That's when the problem starts.... b'coz u start having commitments at home too.

For your boss, the earlier 'hardworking' guy suddenly seems to become a 'early leaver' even if u leave an hour after regular time... after doing the same amount of work..

People leaving on time after doing their tasks for the day are labelled as work-shirkers...

Girls who thankfully always (its changing nowadays... though) leave on time are labelled as 'not up to it'. All the while, the bachelors pat their own backs and carry on 'working' not realizing that they r spoiling the work culture at their own place and never realize that they would have to regret at one point of time.

So what's the moral of the story??
* Very clear, LEAVE ON TIME!!!
* Never put in extra time ' unless really needed '
* Don't stay back unnecessarily and spoil your company work culture which will in turn cause inconvenience to you and your colleagues.

There are hundred other things to do in the evening..

Learn music...

Learn a foreign language...

Try a sport... TT, cricket.........

Importantly,get a girl friend or boy friend, take him/her around town...

* And for heaven's sake, net cafe rates have dropped to an all-time low (plus, no fire-walls) and try cooking for a change.

Take a tip from the Smirnoff ad: *'Life's calling, where are you??'*

Please pass on this message to all those colleagues and please do it before leaving time, don't stay back till midnight to forward this!!!

IT'S A TYPICAL INDIAN MENTALITY THAT WORKING FOR LONG HOURS MEANS VERY HARD WORKING & 100% COMMITMENT ETC.

PEOPLE WHO REGULARLY SIT LATE IN THE OFFICE DON'T KNOW TO MANAGE THEIR TIME. SIMPLE !

To Kya Bat hey

" Kitabo ke panne palat ke sochte hey,
Yu palat jaye Zindgi to kya bat hey.

Tamanna jo puri hoti hey khwabo me,
Haqikat ban jaye agar to kya bat hey.

Kuch log matlab ke liye Dhundhte hey muje,
Bin matlabe koi aaye to kya bat hey.

Jo sharifo ki sharafat me baat na ho,
Ek sharabi keh jaye to kya bat hey.

Girne or ladne se to bahut chot khayi hey,
Koi Nazaro se Ghayal kar jaye to kya bat hey.

Katal kar ke to koi bhi le jayega dil mera,
Koi sirf smile kar ke hi le jaye to kya bat hey."

-THE AKSS

Some Nice Quote collection.....

"Its Really Hard to wait for the Right person when the Wrong one's are DAMN Attractive.."

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"Don't Judge me by what u have seen in me.....cause what u have seen was at end choosen by me"

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"For a pesimist glass is Half Empty,
For an Optimist Glass is Half Full,
.
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For me...Glass is Twice big as it need to be"

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"Every thing is Pre-written,
Nothing can be Re-written,

So...Live the Best,
nd Leave the Rest"

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Whatever relation we build up in dis world, only thing remains at last is d Loneliness with lots of Rememberances & lots of Memories.

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An Ideal Guy- Does not Smoke, does not Drink, does not Flirt wid oder girlzzzz, does not Lie, does not Cheat n................................................does not Exist....

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Being Single is a choice...Some stay Single 2 avoid Heartaches, Heartbreaks n Love Problems..........But Some Single choose to be single, bcoz dey still love some1 SECRETLY

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Every Woman needs a Boyfrnd/Husband bcoz everyday every minute something goes wrong, which she cant blame on God or Government..

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Love doesnt start in Morning n doesnt end in Evening..........It starts wen u dont need it n ends wen u need it the most......

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He was a good man -no smoke, drink, affairs. When he died insurance refused claim. Reason ? "He who never lived cannot die" !!

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Every lady hopes her daughter will marry a better man than she did - and convinced her son will never find a wife as good as father did

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Expecting the world to treat you fairly because you are a good person, is expecting the lion not to eat you because you are vegetarian.

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Do not walk as if you rule the world ; walk as if you do not care who rules the world ! Now, thats attitude !!

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Think About This.............

Starting with some heart touching topic.....what does our history wanna teach and what we are learning from it...........


Long ago....Person's who never smoke, drink, don't touch any women or money.....are called Saints.

as u knw Saints are called "AMAR"(immortel).......and our old generation called this as CHAMTKARI person's......

But right now...i m exposing one heart touching fact that.....our books from history dont wanna teach us....such non sence lesson's..........



lets consider following quote....

""He was a good man -no smoke, drink, affairs. When he died insurance refused claim. Reason ? "He who never lived cannot die" !!""

who never lived never die...........they are not living their life.....they are DEAD from Begining.........this body is not for that purpose........


drink, smoke...enjoy...........ur life...its all urs....jst one thing our history wanna teaches u............" KNOW ur limitation"........or else u will waste ur life like a RAVAN
like a Kans
like a DURYODHAN.........


if u still not getting what i wanna say........discuss with me....open invitation for this topic.......and post.........

akashthesky2007@gmail.com

I wanna get back those days

I want to go back in time and want my childhood days back when.

"Getting
High" meant "On Swing"

"Drinking" meant "Apple Juice"

"Dad"
was the only "Hero"


"Highest place
on earth" was "Dads Shoulder"

my "Worst enemies" were "My own
siblings"

Only thing that could get "Hurt" were "Skinned knees"

The
only thing "Broken" were my "Toys"

and when "Goodbyes" meant
till "Tomorrow

Akss.....thoughts..........about t..... Life

When i got enough cnfidnce. . . D stage wz gone ! ! ! Wen i wz sure of losing. . .i won! ! ! Wen i needed ppl d most . . . Dey left me ! ! ! Wen i learned to dry my tears. . . I found a shoulder to cry on ! ! ! Wen i mastered d skill of hating. . . Sumbdy startd loving me ! ! ! N when after waiting for dawn,i fell asleep. . . D sun came out ! ! ! Dats wot z lyf :)



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Life is not About Riding BMW & Mercedec, But about 3 friends on a single vehicle riding round the City.....

Its not about 75 Rs Coffe at CCD , But many friends togather sharing 10 Rs dairy milk and Still enjoying....

Lyf is not about boasting about a 350 Rs movie Ticket,But about a few Friends buying 50 Rs ticket & wondering ki popcorn kaun khilayega......

Life is not about eating in TGB and Waterside, But its about to Enjoy 1 beriyani shared with 7 Roommates......

Lyf is not about 1.5 Ton AC in 45 degree, But its about sitting on over bridge at the 3:00 am in hot summer night.....

Lyf is not about talking with one GF for more than 2 hours, but its about managing to reply 5 friends on cell msg..7 on Facebook and 5 on yahoo messenger at same time.......

Lyf is as cool as u want...........have a rocking life,,,,my all dear friends....

Beware before reading it..........dangerous for health.....

Q - You are in a boat in the middle of a river. You have 2
cigarettes and have to light any one cigarette. You don't have
anything else with you in the boat? How will you do it?
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A - Take one cigarette and throw it in the water. So the boat
will become LIGHTER..... ...using this LIGHTER you can light the
other cigarette another deadly answer. scroll down a little.
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.
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.Another solution: You throw a cigarette up and catch it. Catches win
Matches. Using the matches that you win, you can light the cigarette
If that was not enough, one more deadly answer.... scroll down
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.
.
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.
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.
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.Take water in your hand and drop it drop by drop...(TIP - TIP)

"TIP TIP barsa Pani.
Pani ne AAG lagayee."
us aag se hamne cigarette jalayee"

Story Of Sholey If made in 2010

Gabbar sends Kaalia

Gabbar sends Kaalia
and two others to Ramgad to collect the loot-maar software

he had ordered.

They reach Ramgad and start shouting: "Abe O thakur! Kahan hai woh loot-maar software? Last date to kab ka nikal gaya".

Thakur [with anger]: Chillao mat! jaakar Gabbar se kah do ki "Thakur Software walon ne paagal kutton ke liye software banana bund kar diya hai."

Kaalia: "Bahoot garmi dikha rahe ho thakur? Koi naye programmers hire kiye hain kya?"

Thakur: "Nazar uttha ke dekh, Kaalia, tere sar par Powerbuilder chal raha hai."

Kaalia looks up and sees Veeru (Dharmendra) working on a PC on one Water tank and

Jay (Amitabh) on another, using a laptop.
Kaalia Starts Laughing and says: "Ha ha... thakur ne freshers ko liya hai ye log Programming karenge? In ko to DOS commands bhi nahin aate."

Veeru shouts: "Chup-chaap chala ja kutte. Hum log consultants hain, Kuch bhi kar sakte hain."

Jay hits his keyboard,then says:"jaao kaalia, Gabbar se kahna ki uska server down ho gaya."

AT GABBAR'S DEN...

Gabbar: "Kitne bugs the?"
Kaalia: "Do sarkaar."

Gabbar: Wo do! Aur tum teen. Phir bhi fix nahi kar sake?

Kya soch key aaye ho? Gabbar bahoot khush hoga?

Naya assignment dega ...aur increment bhi?
Iski saza milegi...barobar milegi.

[Snatches an X terminal from Sambaa]. "Kitne sessions hain is machine mein?"

Sambaa: "Chhey sarkaar."

Gabbar: "Session chhey aur programmer teen. Bahoot naa-insaafi hai."
[logout - logout - logout ].

"Haan ab theek hai... ab tera kya hoga" Kaalia?"

Kaalia: "Sarkaar, maine aapka code likha tha."
Gabbar: "To ab documentation kar!

School life.....we all gonna miss it.....

The days when the school reopened on june and we settled at our new desk and banches....

When we chased one another in the coridors and returned drenched in sweat...

when all the colours in d world appeared in the school campus on occations...

when a single PT period in the weeks time table was awaited more than monsoons...

sports day and anualday and 1 month preparation 4 them...

V learnt..V enjoyed..V played.. V won..V lost..V laughed..V faught with so many friends...and we loved.. and so much of happiness..

This msg to all my friends who miss their school life.....

About me....Akash....THE LIGHTNING SKY

I believe in love happiness Truth Attitude .......love everyone,respect Everyone,.................I am gr8 Philosopher of life..........well i am trying to become a philosopher of life......
I love to write Alot on fundas of life
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,on the contrary to achieving so many things .....i forgot myself.....Style
 playing with codes
Dance
Studies
Sports
Business
Job
College
Flirt
Philosophy
Masti Ki Pathshala
Religion
Family
Friends
Music.
Driving Bike to Maximum Possible Speed,
Watching Every Good Movie,
Sitting on Net For hOUrs.....
I am Devoted to So many things at a time that i forgot myself.
Only God Knows
The world is wide..I will not waste my life in friction when it could be turned to momentum.
I want to achieve everything come acros my life.........
I wish a Glmourous career Smile on the Face of My PArents, Aapna Sapna Money Money, A good Girl Friend Posses Everything what i wish in her, ....

Work is either fun or drudgery..it depends on your attitude..I like fun.
I used to say my boss pay me for having fun..

It is better to die on ur feet.. than live on ur knees.
My Attitude Is Everything For ME.....I cant Give Up

If u want a place in the sun..u have to put up with a few blisters.
Yet few r remaining....


I have learned thru my mistakes n assumptions, not by my exposure to founts of wisdom n knowledge
and Still learning

I have not ceased being fearful.. but i have ceased to let fear control me.

I belive



Remember five simple rules to be happy:-
1.Free your heart from hatred
2.Free your mind from worries
3.Live simply
4.Give more
5.Expect Less

                    ------>Aksss
                    copy righted.....

Feeling Successful is an emotion....

Feeling Successful is an emotion that is not really related to Success.....

Have a look at few words of wisdom ....I have read somewhere...

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Consider that everyone in this world is running a race. Everyone is somewhere in the race. The beggars and homeless are somewhere towards the end, whereas the likes of Bill Gates and Ophra Winfrey are somewhere towards the front. You are also somewhere in the race, running and trying to move ahead of those in front of you.

Also, consider that everyone is suffering from myopia. Therefore, no matter where you are in the race, you can only see 5 people ahead of you and 5 people behind you. A small shop owner somewhere in the line can only see and compare with similar 5 people ahead, and 5 people behind. This shop owner cannot even see Bill Gates or Oprah Winfrey. If the shop owner moves ahead, he would have a different set of 5 people ahead and 5 people behind to compare with. Similarly, a multi-millionaire somewhere in the race can see and compare himself only with 5 similar multi-millionaires ahead and 5 behind.

People continuously move ahead or behind in the race. Their position keeps changing with successes and failures in their own lives and in the lives of others. However, no matter where they are, their position remains the same from their own perspective. There are always 5 more successful people ahead, and 5 less successful people behind.

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I agree life is not a race. In fact it is not possible to define what is life. There are multiple perspectives of life. life being a race it one such perspectives, which helps in understanding some aspects of it.

Some other perspectives of life that I personally like are, life is a journey, life is a game, life is an opportunity, life is an illusion.......